The Phone Calls
by sparrowlove
Summary: Michael likes to prank phone call Ryan, but Ryan gets sick of it. MichaelRyan mostly friendship. Also featuring Kelly.


First came the heavy breathing. The obscene panting that continued until Ryan hung up. After a few days, this transitioned into silence. Ryan would say "Hello? _Hello?_" a couple times and then, receiving no response, disconnect. Finally, there were the jokes. Everything from the old standards ("Is your refrigerator running?") to lines that didn't even make sense ("Are you listening? Huh? Huh?"), all sounding as though they had been fed through some kind of voice distorter. Most likely one of those toy Darth Vader masks. Apparently, Ryan's former boss didn't realize that, each time he called, "Mike Scott the douche" (one of Ryan's friends had, after a few drinks, edited his contacts list to be more "descriptive") appeared on the screen of Ryan's cell phone.

Eventually, Ryan was fed up. The next time the phone rang, he snatched it up and yelled "Leave me alone!"

A sniffling sound came from the other line. "I didn't mean to bother you," said a high pitched voice.

"Oh," Ryan said, embarrassed, "I thought you were someone else. What is it, Kelly?"

"No, its ok, Ryan," Kelly replied angrily. "If you don't want to talk to me..."

"Kelly," Ryan interrupted. "I just said I didn't know it was you. I thought it was Michael again."

"Michael? Why is Michael calling you?"

"I don't know, Kelly. He keeps prank phone calling me."

"Why don't you just block his number then?"

Ryan hesitated. "I... well, he might call about work or something."

"He would call your office phone," Kelly said. She laughed, "I'm glad my new boyfriend, Darryl, isn't gay."

"I have to get back to work."

"Ohmygosh, Ryan, I was just kidding. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I don't really think you're gay. I mean, if you are, that's totally cool. We can go shopping together! I always ask Oscar, but he says he doesn't like shopping, isn't that funny? But he doesn't have very good fashion sense anyway..."

"Kelly, it's ok. I just... I really do have to get back to work." He hung up the phone, and then realized that he didn't even know why Kelly had called in the first place.

The next time the phone rang, Ryan checked the caller ID before yelling. He took a deep breath and answered the phone. "Why do you keep calling me?"

"What?" Michael feigned innocence. "What do you mean 'keep calling'?" I haven't talked to you in days."

"No," Ryan muttered, "you just made weird noises and stupid jokes."

"That wasn't me."

"Received calls:" Ryan read. "Michael Scott, 12:24; Michael Scott, 12:47; Michael Scott, 1:38; Kelly, 1:50; Michael Scott..."

"Those were business calls, Ryan."

"I answered them. Didn't sound like business."

"Well, you never made a sale," Michael retorted. "Maybe you just don't recognize business when you hear it."

"I'm hanging up now," Ryan said, exasperated.

"NO."

Ryan had to hold the phone away from his ear. "Don't shout. What is this about?"

"Nothing," Michael said.

"Alright, then I'm hanging up."

"Alright, Ryan. Well, good. I'm too busy to talk to you anyway. I have a lot of work to get done."

"Good."

Two minutes later, the phone rang again.

"Dunder Mifflin, you're talking to Ry-"

"Why are you such a jerk?"

"What?"

"Your friends call you, and you don't even want to talk to them? You just..."

"Michael? Are you crying?"

"No."

"You sound like you are."

"Well, I'm not. I have... allergies."

"You want to talk? Let's talk, Michael. Go. Talk."

"Nope. I'm sure you have very important things to discuss with your new friends."

"My business associates, you mean?"

"You're not friends with your business associates?"

"I don't have to be friends with the people I work with, Michael."

"But you could be, right?"

Michael sounded so hopeful that Ryan gave in. "Sure, I could be friends with someone I work with."

"More than fri-"

"I don't think so."

"Fair enough."

"So..." Ryan asked hesitantly, unsure exactly what could come after _that_ question. "Anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"Actually, yes. I was thinking that maybe I could-"

"You know what? I'll be in Scranton on Wednesday. Maybe we can talk more then."

"It's a date."

"No, Michael, it's not a date. It's just a-" But Michael had already hung up. Ryan rolled his eyes and smiled, tossing the phone back on his desk- after replacing "Mike Scott the douche" with "Michael" on his contacts list. "Sure Michael," he muttered. "It's a date."


End file.
